I Am Broken.

I am broken; for a long time now. Every once in awhile that brokenness works in my favor as it allows me to see the world in a beautiful way that many people miss. This is not one of those times. I as I sit here all I want with every fiber of my being is to not hurt anymore. The weight I feel in my chest and bowls is too great and I have no way to express it nor a way to relieve it.

I am broken; I fear everything. The future, the past, and the present all wrapped up making that weight I spoke of before. Each past failure confirmed by the actions of some around me. A present of so much pain and a future that is uncertain and dark. None of it to be fixed or changed.

I am Broken; I wish I could call out for help. Something stops me. I don’t know why. Part of it is because I fear those that will see me as one seeking attention. Another part is pride, and I don’t even know how another can help me. Who could even understand my sorrow?

I am broken, so very broken; I ask of the universe but one thing, please take this weight for just a little while. Have I not paid my penance yet? Is not your pound of flesh enough? Have I not laid down my life for others in a sufficient amount?

I am broken; Once a man that has known me my entire life told me that there has always been something wrong with me. I am sure that he doesn’t even remember saying it but I remember that he felt it. If it is true, be it of character or soul what can I do to remedy it?

I am broken and right now I know not how to put the pieces back together.