Lasting Change

Often people believe that the big moments or major decisions are what shape our lives. That they are significant in making us the people that we are. It is true that such things can have a major impact on the heart and now but if you think about it do they cause lasting change?

Many years ago I stopped at a local auto parts store for a small item to make a minor repair on my vehicle. The customer service technician was quick to find the part number and they had one in stock. So I purchased it and was on my way out the door.

As I walked to my truck, part in hand, I saw a 32 ounce Styrofoam soda cup laying on the sidewalk not far from the trash can, and in my hurry I stepped over it, paying it no mind further than making sure I didn't step on it, as I continued to the driver's seat and shut the door.

Once settled I looked up and actually saw the cup laying basically right in front of the trash can and I thought to myself 'I can't believe that whoever tried to throw it away was too lazy to pick it up when they missed'. It evoked in me negative feelings for whoever dropped it there and for a brief moment I was angry.

Then it hit me. I had just stepped over the cup. Why didn't I stop and dispose of it properly? I thought to myself 'being angry with whoever causes the mess is not fixing the problem' and so I took off my seatbelt and proceeded to dispose of it properly.

In that small act, I developed a philosophy that has followed me for the rest of my life, though in all fairness I have failed it many times. At that moment I, possibly for the first time in my young life, realized that not all needs require a search for blame. Sometimes one just needed to meet the need without concern for the cause.

When I settled back into the seat I sit there for a few moments working around in my head the significance of what had just occurred. It was then that I came up with a saying that if you know me you have most likely heard me say it more than once.

If you see a need, fill it. Don't worry about who or why it became a need.

When we get caught up in trying to fix blame or find the cause of such things we often miss the need of the moment. I am not saying that one should never search for a way to address the root of an issue. I am however saying that if one forgets to meet the immediate need, or dismisses it as a causality of another's actions, subsequently making them deserving of the outcome, a little piece of what makes us human dies.

We often attribute the big moments or major decisions as defining things in our life. We see the birth of a child or the day we married as life-changing events. What I have found, at least in my life, is that change is really only found in the small moments. It is in the daily actions of selflessly caring for that child even when one doesn't feel like it. Or in the love for another, that endures a moment of strife only to forgive. It is in the times we want to run away from our responsibilities but choose to stay. Those small moments that we may forget as time passes are truly those that shape our lives in a lasting and meaningful way.